


Death

by whatacunningboy



Category: Casino Royale (2006), Hannibal (TV), The Big C (TV)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Porn, Bottom Lee Fallon, Cancer, Dying Lee, Hand Jobs, Heavy Angst, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Mentions of Death, Please Don't Kill Me, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Top Le Chiffre, Wine, hannigram AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-28
Updated: 2016-04-28
Packaged: 2018-06-05 02:12:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6685069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatacunningboy/pseuds/whatacunningboy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lee has to say goodbye to Le Chiffre.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Death

**Author's Note:**

> Trust me when I say: this is heavy content.  
> Like I felt like crying as I was reareading this shit.  
> There is mentions of death because of cancer, which is hard for some people.  
> I've lost family to cancer, so I know it's hard to deal. Please read at your own discretion!
> 
> Not Beta Read

Le Chiffre knew that there was something wrong. Lee had called him for wine the day before, when the man always had the courtesy to call three days before for a wine date. Le Chiffre had to shuffle things around, but he agreed to it. His suspicions were further promoted when he was greeted with a glass of wine in Lee’s hands (already half drank and refilled). The man wore a sweater and jeans—his usual attire—but Le Chiffre wore something appropriate for the setting of a wine date. But it was also his usual, suit and tie with his hair swept back.

“Looks like you have not wasted any time.” Le Chiffre took the glass from Lee’s hand as he walked in.

Lee shrugged. He reached for Le Chiffre’s free hand and walked him down the hallway to his kitchen. Le Chiffre took a sip from the glass. His eyes scanned the darkened room—there were object missing—but Le Chiffre kept the discovery to himself. Lee pulled Le Chiffre along like a child taking their parent excitingly to somewhere new. He teasingly swayed his hips, which Le Chiffre enjoyed for the moment. Lee let go of Le Chiffre’s hand and sat down on a stool by the kitchen island. Once both men were settled and Lee poured himself another glass, Le Chiffre found it appropriate to speak about the missing objects.

“Did you call me as a goodbye, Lee?” Le Chiffre glanced at Lee. His expression changed in the smallest of gestures.

“Well, if it was a goodbye, it would not be good.” Lee smiled as he sipped from his cup, “And this wine is ridiculously good.” Le Chiffre did not go on further with the questions. He stayed quiet and watched Lee down the glass without his usual steadiness. Lee chuckled at him and felt his face flush slightly, “If you watch me longer, you might burn holes into me.”

Le Chiffre did not smile or chuckle with Lee. There were moments where Lee caused a laugh to escape the tight lips of Le Chiffre, but they were moments of genuine outlandish comments or actions that Lee would do. When Lee used humor to avoid conversations or not deal with his own emotions, Le Chiffre would not promote Lee’s inappropriate humor by laughing or even chuckling. Lee stood up and opened a kitchen cabinet. He pulled out two small plates, placed them on the kitchen island, and picked a tray with small pesto bites that would go well with the wine they were drinking.

“I was wondering if you could teach me how to play poker, finally.” Lee asked as he sat back down on the stool.

“Why?”

“I am interested in playing and think I should learn.” Lee shrugged as he pulled a small bite on his plate. He poured himself yet another glass of wine and sipped at it. He did not look interested in the food on his plate, “You’ve been awfully quiet.”

“Why did you call me here?” Le Chiffre placed the glass down and observed Lee’s every movement. The younger man moved around the kitchen island and towards Le Chiffre like a sly fox ready to take something from the other.

“I wanted to have a glass of wine with my accountant.” Lee smiled innocently with wide eyes. He stepped towards Le Chiffre—his hand placed the glass of wine down—only to pick up Le Chiffre’s tie, “I need to have a very, very, long conversation about a couple of accounts.”

Le Chiffre could smell the sweetness of wine on his lips. He smirked at the innocent look that Lee constantly practiced to seduce the older man. Lee pulled Le Chiffre closer to him and pecked his lips lightly. It was a teasing—a light touch. Lee hoped that it would prompt Le Chiffre to act more, but the man was always reluctant to act anymore. He always wanted to see Lee do as he pleased.

“What accounts?” Le Chiffre asked. Lee rolled his eyes and leaned further into the body of the man. One hand slipped away from the tie to Le Chiffre’s thigh.

“I think I’m going to be transferring the name on them to my partner… my business partner, of course.” Lee whispered and kissed Le Chiffre’s jaw line.

“Why?”

“Why?” Lee repeated, “I’m going to be taking some time for myself.” Lee proceeded to place his hands on Le Chiffre’s shoulders and kissed him once more. He purposefully rubbed his body against Le Chiffre’s to let him know of his current arousal. Another thing that Lee would use to avoid conversations: sex, “I’m leaving and you’re here… how about we say our goodbyes in this kind of fashion?”

Le Chiffre pulled from his kiss. He slowly got up from where he was sitting without a word and began to walk towards the door. Lee reached for his hand and pulled him back. Le Chiffre pulled his hand away. Lee stopped the humorous reactions. He asked Le Chiffre to have a seat back where they were. Le Chiffre complied. Lee downed the rest of the wine before he apologized for being overly clownish. Then he took a deep breath.

“I’m dying.” Lee stated. The words echoed throughout the room as if Death was eavesdropping on their conversation, waiting to take the younger the moment he said goodbye to Le Chiffre. Lee chuckled and rubbed his hands on his face, “I was diagnosed with cancer.” Lee glanced at Le Chiffre and waited for the man to start talking. He needed him to talk because Lee would only make it worse, “Can you believe this? Me, dying of cancer! I’d figure my father would dye a fiery death… but, you know how it is!”

“What stage?”

“It’s terminal.” Lee answered. Lee could have sworn that the temperature dropped. He felt his skin lift in goosebumps and the tip of his nose began to cool. His mouth felt dry and his hands began to sweat. He hated this. He hated goodbyes and tears. He wanted to bypass everything.

“I have doctors.” Le Chiffre reached for Lee’s hand, “I have doctors and the money. This does not mean that you’re…”

“I’m dying. It’s just a matter of when, but I’m dying.” Lee smiled, “What I said before… I am leaving Le Chiffre… I don’t plan for you to see me in…”

“So you’re leaving without consulting me about it?”

“Well, it’s my decision. Besides, it makes it easier.” Lee shrugged. Let Chiffre looked at him confused; “You’re not going to want to be with a dead-man. The responsibility is way too much and it’s not like we did much else than have sex?”

“Are you fucking joking?” Le Chiffre bit his tongue. Lee was a little appalled at the words that left Le Chiffre’s mouth, “Is this what this is for you? Is this what I am for you? Some kind of fuck-buddy?”

“I was just saying-!”

“Do you think I would offer doctors or my money to you, if you were just a common whore?” Le Chiffre’s tone did not rise or change, but Lee knew that he was angry, “You were going to leave without telling me anything.”

“Le Chiffre, please, you don’t-!”

“Lee, what do you think of me?” Lee bit his lower lip and glanced down at the floor. He loved Le Chiffre. It was because of it that he did not want Le Chiffre to see him dead or half-dead. Dying. He did not want Le Chiffre to see him wither away in bed, until he’s begging to leave.

“I’m already in love with you! I just don’t want you to fall in love with me!” Lee took a deep breath, “I… I love you… but this… this is going to destroy me, Le Chiffre… and I don’t want you to see me gone.” Leaving. He did not want Le Chiffre see him leaving.

Le Chiffre pulled Lee into his body and kissed his lips. He was rougher than Lee and kept his hands firmly grasped on his hips. The smaller man was used to the actions of the older man, since he was a man of few words. Le Chiffre suck on Lee’s lower lip and nipped at his lips lightly. His tongue was rough with the movements. They pulled away which already left Lee’s lips a pinkish hue. He kept Lee close and mumbled French words.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t…” Lee took a deep breath, “I didn’t tell you…”

“I don’t want to lose you.” Le Chiffre stated, “I want you here and I want you with me.”

“I don’t want you to see me-”

“I don’t care. I want to care for you. I want to spoil you, while I have you.” Le Chiffre kissed Lee once more. This time a shorter kiss, “Please, allow me to spoil you.”

Lee hated crying. He hated this sadness and this kind of stir. He hated that he was going to leave the man that he loved because of his idiotic body not knowing how to function properly. But he had to get passed the hate. He had to get passed everything that he was feeling to open up to Le Chiffre. Because Le Chiffre would provide him with so much and Lee had to show Le Chiffre that he is grateful. Le Chiffre’s hands pulled Lee tighter. He was always careful not to hurt or place the man a position where he might be hurt, but this was different. His grasp only tightened because he was afraid that the man whose body was so close to his would slip out of his touch.

“Spoil me tonight.” Lee whispered and kissed Le Chiffre’s neck, “Make me forget everything.”

He got up and pulled Lee through the tight corridor of the younger man’s house. He slammed the door and pulled Lee into a kiss. Their lips crashed like rose petals falling on rose petals—soft lips over soft lips—but it made Lee’s eyes water with tears, not in pain but in fear of the absence he would feel. The softness was masked over with the roughness of Le Chiffre’s hands. He trashed at Lee’s clothing to free him of the fabric restraints. He wanted to see Lee. He wanted to feel Lee. He wanted to keep Lee.

“Wait-!” Lee gasped, “Get undress-ssed… I-I’ll grab-!”

“Bare.” Le Chiffre kept kissing his lips.

“I still-l need-!”

“Go.” Le Chiffre let Lee go for what they needed.

It did not take long for Le Chiffre to undress and it was even less time for Lee to come back with lube ready to go. Le Chiffre turned to see Lee completely bare. The younger man was timid about his nakedness; the same younger man that would straddle Le Chiffre and ride him until he was a murmuring mess was shy about being bare. Le Chiffre smiled at him and stepped toward him. He took Lee’s hand and kissed his knuckles. Lee felt his body heat up as he felt the kisses ride up his arm. He sighed as Le Chiffre slowly started to stroke at Lee’s cock and the kisses reached his neck.

The older man pulled Lee to the bed and let him lie down flat on his back. Lee watched Le Chiffre move. His lips touched the inside of his thigh, but he eyes were focused on Lee. They watched each other because for a moment there was a fear that when they open their eyes the other would be gone. They remained silent for a moment. The sound of only their breaths echoed throughout the room. Le Chiffre savored every touch their skin made, but Lee was focused not to cry.

“You’re not…” Le Chiffre glanced at Lee’s cock.

“Must be the meds.” Lee shrugged, “Look at me, the old man! Guess I’ll be taking the little miracle pill earlier than you!”

Le Chiffre leaned in and kissed Lee’s lips. The younger felt a lump in his throat. He needed Le Chiffre gone. He needed him to leave him alone so that Lee could cry and next time they saw each other he could joke and laugh. He did not care about being grateful and the money Le Chiffre would spend. Lee did not want any of it if it meant he had to be strong and take everything that was happening to him. Le Chiffre would protest. Le Chiffre would tell Lee that he’s wrong and stay like a rock that would never move.

“You need to stop.” Le Chiffre whispered as he dragged his soft fingertips along Lee’s sides, “You use humor as a shield and I need you to lower it.”

Lee bit the inside of his cheeks. His body slowly reacting to the touches that Le Chiffre made. His eyes focused on the opaque eye that brought questions to Lee’s mind. Le Chiffre reached for the lubricant and poured some on his hand he reached for Lee’s cock and slowly began to stroke him. Lee felt the touch, but his mind was too clouded to enjoy it. His body reacted, but he was missing that element that Le Chiffre loved to see.

His head was clouded with every possible reason to begin crying. Lee was close. He needed to release that pain that he was feeling to his core. He needed to howl and thrash at nothing because he was dying. The thought bounced off the walls of his head. Dying. The word repeated over and over. It was being said, writing, sung, and danced. Lee would die. Lee is dead.

Lee is dying.

“Lee?”

Lee opened his eyes to Le Chiffre. Lee was crying and Le Chiffre was watching him. He laughed and wiped his tears away. He made a morbid joke or two, but in the end tears kept escaping. Le Chiffre watched him. It’s not that the man had no idea what to do—he did—but he knew the importance of having Lee flush the emotions in his body. Le Chiffre sat back on the mattress and pulled Lee off of the bed. He positioned the man to sit on his lap. Lee cried more. He wept into the arms of his lover. The words repeated again and again. He hated everything in that moment: Le Chiffre, himself, and his body. He wanted an out and he could not find one in Le Chiffre’s arms. Lee hiccupped as he tried to speak. He sounded so ugly when he was crying.

“I-I’m sorry-! I have-e no, no idea what this is…” Lee smiled and turned to kiss Le Chiffre, but the man refused.

“Cry.” Le Chiffre ordered, “You need to express yourself, Lee.” The younger bit his lip and shook his head.

“I don’t-don’t want to…” Lee kissed Le Chiffre’s neck, “I want this.”

“No you don’t.” Le Chiffre contradicted. He knew that there was no way either would enjoy their intimacy with the clouded mind of Lee. Le Chiffre did not really speak, but in that moment he expressed what Lee as feeling perfectly, “You’re angry? Sad? You keep on asking why you? When there is so much scum in this world, why did you have to be the one?”

“Le Chiffre…”

“You, who are good, kind, and noble… my sweet Lee, my sun and fire, my passion and love, why did you have to receive such a fate?” Lee stayed quiet. Le Chiffre kissed Lee’s collarbone and took a deep breath.

“Stop.” Lee asked, “Please.” The tears began to pour faster. His moans became wails. Le Chiffre held Lee tightly. Lee wrapped his arms around Le Chiffre’s neck and cried into the man’s shoulder. He hated crying, but he had to.

“My sweet boy… you leave to paradise, you know? The sky will take yet another star from this earth and you, my love, shall shine brighter than any other.” Le Chiffre whispered, “Your laughter will bring cool winds to the deserts and your smile will bring light to the darkness, so do not resent this, my sweet boy.”

“You’re such a sap!” Lee kissed Lee’s lips.

Sadness in him dissipated a little more as their kiss deepened. Their eyes closed because they feared the threat of abandonment less. Lee rolled his hips on Le Chiffre’s cock. He moaned in between laps of their tongues. Le Chiffre’s face became soaked in his lover’s tears. Lee pulled away when he felt Le Chiffre take hold of both of their cocks. He stroked them together, slowly. Lee kissed Le Chiffre’s mouth, then cheeks. He kept his arms wrapped around the man.

“Do you want to do this?” Le Chiffre asked.

“Why are you asking?” Lee sighed, “I want you… I need you here with me.”

Le Chiffre played with Lee’s entrance as the younger man moaned in anticipation. Lee kept on rolling his hips at the motion and the threat of penetration. The first finger was inserted. Lee groaned and pulled Le Chiffre’s head towards his lips to suck on his skin. He no longer cared where he left the marks, because in a few days they would be gone. Just like him, in a few months (or even less), he would be gone. Le Chiffre placed the second one and pumped into Lee. The motion was a little harder because of the lack of lubricant.

Lee quickly reached the lubricant and poured some on his own hand. Le Chiffre pulled away and let Lee prepare himself. He loved watching him. Le Chiffre leaned back a little and stroked both himself and Lee as the younger man inserted two fingers inside of himself. Lee moaned and bounced slightly. His cock moved along with him.

“Le-Le Chi-! Oh god-!” Lee glanced at the man. His eyes locked on Lee. He was completely clouded with desire for him. There was almost desperation to his look, “There-there!”

“For a moment longer…” Le Chiffre asked. Lee whined and did so. He wanted to comply with what Le Chiffre wanted. He wanted to have Le Chiffre love him like in the beginning.

His body moved at the motion of his fingers. Le Chiffre did not move his focus from him. It was too much for the younger man to handle with the stir of emotions that he felt and his current arousal. Le Chiffre noticed the slight higher pitch in Lee’s voice and his face scrunching at the feelings, so he pulled Lee close to him. Their chests touched lightly. He spread Lee’s cheeks and probed his entrance with cock. Lee nodded with closed eyes and a desperate breath. His beard tickled Le Chiffre’s cheek as the man swayed slightly.

He slowly moved inside of Lee. They both groaned against the new felt sensation—tight and hot—Le Chiffre held Lee hard which Lee knew that bruising would occur because the new treatment left him vulnerable to these kinds of injuries. But he did not care. Unlike the scars made from the chemo, Lee did not care about these. Lee bit at Le Chiffre’s neck lightly as the older man moved slowly.

Le Chiffre kissed Lee’s neck and sucked at the feverish skin. He wanted to mark the man. He wanted Lee to look into the mirror and no longer see the chemo scars, but the scars of their affection. Lee gasped into Le Chiffre’s ear as the man moved a bit quicker in pace. He did not want to climax quickly, but it was too much for him. Le Chiffre pushed Lee back onto the mattress. The position made it so he could feel him further inside.

Lee’s eyes shot open. He let go of Le Chiffre and gripped the sheets underneath him. Le Chiffre began to notice Lee’s thinness. It was slightly visible, but Le Chiffre had seen Lee’s body enough times to know that he was becoming thinner. This would only get worse with time. Le Chiffre thrusted further into Lee—to keep his mind focused on what was in front of him—Lee moaned and gasped. He groaned out syllables of Le Chiffre’s name, but never the full name.

“Lee… do… do you need…?” Lee shook his head, “You need to, my love…” Lee shook his head once more, his body arching upwards slightly because of the waves of pleasure being sent through his body.

“I don’t want… I don’t want this to end…” Lee gasped. His eyes teary once more and his voice cracking.

“It won’t…” Le Chiffre whispered. He bit Lee’s earlobe and trailed kisses down Lee’s neck and shoulder, “It will never end…”

“Le-Le Chif-!”

“Come on… take your pleasure, my love.”

“Fuck-!”

Lee came with one stroke of Le Chiffre’s hand on his cock. He clenched around Le Chiffre, which caused the other man to groan at the feeling. He rode out Lee’s orgasm, until the man was spent and could not take any more abuse from the other. Le Chiffre pulled out and jerked himself until he came on Lee. This was more than just climaxing and pleasure. This was about marking the other. Lee breathed hard. His chest rose and fell. Le Chiffre watched him—so full of life and beauty. Le Chiffre laid next to him.

“We’ll wash after.” Le Chiffre placed a hand on Lee’s chest.

“You’re concerned about that?” Lee smiled, “Shouldn’t you be more… um… concerned about how you fucked me into the next life?” Le Chiffre smiled and kissed Lee’s forehead.

“Sleep. I will clean.” Le Chiffre stood up. Lee heard Le Chiffre go to the bathroom and begin to get towels to clean and such. Lee smiled. He heard the slight humming in Le Chiffre’s voice and the smell of his scent. He wanted this. He wanted to hear this for the rest of his life.

But the thought only came back to his head: he was dying and it was only a matter of time before he no longer heard Le Chiffre.


End file.
